Saturday, September 27, 2014

How to Get Over a Breakup

3:42 AM

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Love is a funny thing.

It has made us laugh, cry, smile, dance around the house, and emote endlessly to our best friends. The manifestations of “true love” abound – from that cute couple making out beneath the Eiffel Tower, to the construction of the Taj Mahal, and even the understated good morning text from your significant other.

Truly, love is an amazing thing.

And when you finally find that one person who you feel like you can share it with completely, unconditionally, and unequivocally, it feels as if all the planets have aligned and the whole world has fallen into place.

But what do you do when that love which you thought was so eternal comes to an abrupt end?

When the butterflies have flown away, the good night kisses have stopped coming, and the (now) ex-boyfriend (or girlfriend) has refused to see you as anything other than a friend (or worse), “What else do I have left?”, you think to yourself melodramatically.

All break ups suck. You can think positive all you want—keep telling yourself it’s all for the better, that there are other (hotter) boys (or girls) out there and you’re way too gorgeous to even be sad about someone who obviously does not deserve you – all of the above may be true but, the truth is, it still hurts.

And it’s a pain like no other.

A pain so gripping and so strangling that it turns your insides upside down and leaves your stomach in knots that whenever you think about the person who crushed your heart, you either feel like bawling your eyes out or punching him in the face. Simultaneously.

All your besties give you constant pep talks telling you about how awesome you are, and that “You don’t need a man to complete you!!!” Everyone else you sort-of-know (here are your titas, titos, acquaintances, and that kid who you’re Facebook friends with but never really bothers to hit you up) wants in on the details, constantly pestering you about who broke it off, whether or not you’re sad about it, and if you’re down to hook up with someone new, because they have this friend that they’re sure you’ll absolutely love.

So, when you feel like the world you know has flipped over and crumbled in on itself, what do you do? How do you get over a break up?

Well, here’s the big secret:

You don’t.

When you love someone, you dedicate a significant amount of your time, effort, and passion to that person. Whether or not you notice it, you’re giving that person a part of your life that you can never get back. You will never be able to rewind all the times you’ve spent together and spend them with someone else instead. You’ll never be able to get rid of the feelings that you’ve invested in your relationship. Yes, they may slowly fade, but a part of you will always love him (or her). You may not be in love with said person anymore, but the memories you shared will never tarnish.

When you truly love someone, you give them a piece of your heart that you’ll never be able to reclaim. You show them the very depths of your soul – what makes you tick, what flavors of ice cream you like, how your main goal in life is to make your dad proud. You let them inside your head and you show them exactly where it hurts to be wounded, trusting that they’ll keep your Achille’s heel safe. Yet, sometimes they are the ones who shoot arrows at your weaknesses.

After a break up, each day comes as a struggle, with typical household items and routine settings reminding you of him. Those were the benches you guys went stargazing on, that was the shirt he gave you after you messed yours up on a date, and this was post-it he stuck on your planner after one night of yolo-ing. It seems as if he’s all around you yet nowhere near you at the same time. That taunting dichotomy could be enough to bring any girl to tears.

At such a young age, when you're both vulnerable and dynamic, a love like this could make or break you. Most of the time, it feels as if it’s the latter. But despite all the pain and heartache you go through with each breakup, just remember that one day, you’ll be okay. Though it may not seem like it’s any time in the near future, just take each day and each challenge as it comes your way. From rock bottom, there’s nowhere to go but up.

You may never get over a break up, but you can definitely survive it – and live to tell the tale. Each one of us copes with grief differently.

So, don’t be alarmed if, like me, it takes you longer than usual to get over boys you really cared about. Eat all you want, and cry all you need to. Talk to your friends, watch a million comedies, and work out like crazy. You’ll be okay. Take the time to grieve, but remember that you have to move on. And when you do, don’t be afraid to love again. If you’ve never truly loved, then how can you say that you’ve really lived? Give your all in each relationship that you have, because, despite common belief, the one who cares less does not win – or gain anything but a broken heart, for that matter. Each breakup is an eye-opening experience, and with each experience come valuable life lessons.

Love is scary and depressing at times, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t worth it.

Article by Amber
Art by Arielle
Angela, more commonly known as Amber, is a unicorn enthusiast, Victoria’s Secret model in disguise, pink lover, and salonpas suki. She is totally bubbly, like, all the time, and she has a legit addiction to French fries. Football is her sport, but she’s also tried a handful of other stuff including rugby, cheerleading, and Frisbee.

Arielle is currently a fine arts student (Information Design). She loves taking pictures, watching movies, going to new places, hoarding books and collaborating with other people to make things. She would like to pursue a career in photography, film and design (yes all three) in the future.


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